[ Game FAQ ] [ Site FAQ ]

Why should I register for GTFBTW?

Well, first of all you can't play Monkey Fight! till you register.

Once you register, you can add RSS feeds into your user profile so you can put all the news you usually read in one place. You can also post funny links and add your own funny comments about the funny links. You can view all of our funny things and make funny comments about the funny things. You're a funny person, share your wit.

What's an RSS feed?

An RSS feed is a specially formatted document that many sites use to distribute their latest content. All you need to do is find the URL of the feed or peruse the feeds of other users and add them with a single click. Here are some examples:

• BBC
• Slashdot
• CNN

Where do I find an RSS feed?

Anywhere you see this icon , you've found an RSS feed. Just right click on the icon and 'copy link location' and paste that into the 'feed URL' when you add a feed in your profile. Simple as that.

You can always find some RSS feeds on google. Give it a try!

What about an Atomfeed?

The ability to add an Atomfeed to GTFBTW is coming. Please hold. [ insert elevator hold music here, we recommend "The Girl from Ipanema" or anything from the GWAR catalog]

I have made ever so many friends on LiveJournal, can I read their journals here?

Of Course! Add as many as you want! Read all of your interweb friends' journals right here in one place!

If you were a member and logged in you would be seeing an easy to use form to add a LiveJournal feed. That's how nice we are to our members. We try to make their lives as simple as possible. Aren't we grand?

What's the panic button all about?

Part of your profile allows you to customize the panic button to quickly jump to your corporate site, company intranet...whatever. Look, we know you're just fooling around at work. Say the boss comes looking around looking for your TPS reports or a copy of that memo. Just hit "Alt + w" and BLAMMO! You're at your company's site. It's as if you've been working all along. You ARE Peter Gibbons. Unless, of course, you're using Internet Explorer...in which case you should just click the big, red panic button or download Firefox.

How do I view/edit my profile?

Login and click on your name, or on the profile link in the top navigation.

How do I view someone else's profile?

Click on their name.

How much is this going to cost?

It's Free.

That's right, Free.

How can we offer all this for free? Volume.

Does GTFBTW stand for what I think it does?

GTFBTW stands for Get The Fheck Back To Work. What did you think it meant? Really? Shame on you. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

[ Game FAQ ] [ Site FAQ ]

Monkey Stats

Eagle Eye - Determines your chance to hit your foe.
MonkeyPower - How hard you smash their furry face after you hit.
KungFu Style - It's hard to hit people with a lot of style. Unless they have a lot of Old Style, in that case, they are probably drunk and quite easy to hit.
Iron Shirt Qi Gung - Think you can take a punch, eh?

Pooped Points

Any action you take (except stealing) gives you pooped points. After you get too many pooped points, you are considered "pooped" and can't do anything until you rest your monkey for a bit and wait for your pooped meter to fall.

Attacking?

You strap on your monkey armor and grab your monkey weapon and search out some monkey's hut. When you get there, that monkey is defending is parcel of land using his monkey hut weapons and monkey hut armor.

Stealing?

Stealing is based on your mojo and your level. The more mojo you have when you attempt to steal the better your chances of stealing bananas.

Why can't I spy?

Spying takes a lot of mojo to pull off.

Items?

Items do lots of stuff. Buy and try.

Constipation?

When constipated you really can't do much until you either wait it out until your colon starts flowing again or use some item that will help move those bowels.

Stealing while constipated is still possible, but you get a penalty to your chances to steal. Hey, it's not like you can really concentrate on being sneaky when you are all stopped up like that.

How can I get more bananas?

1) Submit links for all to enjoy. You will get 50 bananas for every approved link you submit. Give the constipated monkeys something to read while they wait it out!

2) Comment on posted links and funny things. For every comment you post, you get one banana. NOTE: This will be monitored, and we will put down your monkey for comments like "asl;fjdasl;fjdas;fd", and by "put down", we mean destroy.

3) Vote! You are allowed to vote once per week/day to get bonus bananas. You can vote all you want, you just only get the bonus bananas once a week/day. Your bananas will be awarded as soon as your vote is validated!

Sorry, banana reward for this site has been removed

Once per Week

Once per Day

Once per Week

Clumsy Elephant Banana Bank

Deposit your bananas in the bank for (relatively) safe keeping. Then withdraw them when you want to use them. The elephants running the place might drop a few now and then, but I'd like to see you carry around bananas with feet like that. I think they do pretty good for not having thumbs. Or fingers.

What is the Kick-Ass Meter?

The Kick-Ass Meter keeps tracks of how many times in a row you've kicked ass or got your monkey butt handed to you on a platter.
Every time you win an attack, it goes up by one. Every time you lose, it goes down by one. If your meter ever hits 5, your max mojo goes up by one and your meter is reset to 0. If you hit -5, you lose a max mojo point. Simple enough.

And like experience points, you don't get credit for picking on monkeys a lot lower in level than you are. You big meanie.

What is the Ninja Meter?

The Ninja Meter keeps tracks of how many bananas you have stolen or had snatched from you. It doesn't really do anything, but I like statistics so I put it in there.

Exercising

Every time you exercise, you increase your monkey power.

How do I place a bounty on a monkey?

Awwww, someone picking on you, little guy? Want to get revenge? Go to that person's profile and click the "place bounty" link.

How do I get to be top monkey?

Have the highest score! Your score is based on a very precise, highly complex fuzzy math formula that takes into account your banana score, ninja meter, and your kick-ass meter.

Time you spend as one of the top three monkeys is tracked and displayed so you can see who are the dominant monkeys. Once second is added to your "time at top" total for every second you spend at the top, one for every two you spend in second place, and one for every three seconds spent in third.

How do I go up in levels?

Everything you do gives you some experience. Constipating other monkeys gives you the most. When you get enough experience, you go up a level. When you go up a level, you get stuff.

NOTE: Attacking and Stealing from monkeys that are lower level than you is allowed, but you will get no experience for picking on those little guys. Success against monkeys higher level than you gives bonus experience.

 

If you have a comment/question, post it here.